So, this medicine change seems to be taking a very hard toll on me. Harder than I thought it would. I don’t remember it being this bad with other changes. Maybe it was and I have just forgotten about it.
All this last week I have been so tired. Not physically tired. Emotionally and mentally tired. School has taken a massive toll on me this week. Luckily, semester end is this coming Friday (16th December) and I only have one assignment left to hand in. The worst one too. I shoulda got this one out of the way first. Oh well, what can you do.
In class this last Wednesday, we got told about the Group Design Project (GDP). I really don’t like the idea of it. I don’t like group work. I don’t know how I will cope. I was chosen as 1 of 6 Team Leaders. I guess I should be flattered, but I am really just stressed about it now. The team I have are cool and I don’t worry about them. I just don’t know how I am going to cope.
I sat and cheated with Jamie about us a couple of days ago. I got upset talking to her – upset about what we were talking about and how I can’t apply an immediate fix to it.
So, here I am. Just really tired. Tired of fighting the demons inside my head. Tired of trying to not let them win. Tired, tired, tired. I have been so sad because of it these last few days. I just don’t know what to do. I have to call Dr B on Monday. I just hope I don’t have to go through the rigmarole of finding suitable medicines.
I have been considering checking myself in to the Cavell Centre to give both myself and Jamie a rest. Time to recouperate from the tiredness. I am not at that point…. yet…. thankfully.
I am getting dangerously close to Feb 2010 levels. I won’t do anything stupid though. I can talk to Jamie about stuff now and that’s a MASSIVE help.
Sunday December 11th 2011 @ 00:00
I would love to fly over and have a pint or something with ya, to see how to cope a little better, with or without meds, my mind is frazzled and I’m at breaking point!
Sunday December 11th 2011 @ 03:53
Keep your head up..
You can’t win if you don’t fight.